Victim in crash into Bay Park house had restraining order against husband now accused of her murder

Police on Tuesday identified the couple, including the woman who was killed, after a man allegedly crashed his truck into a home in Bay Park.

San Diego police arrested Stephen Coates, 62, on suspicion of murder following the death of Monica Coates, 61, officials said in a news release while also offering details of a restraining order she had sought against him.

She had called 911 at 7:38 a.m. Monday to report that her husband had crashed his pickup truck into their residence, police said.

Several neighbors called to report the collision at 4312 Dakota Drive, with one reporting hearing screams inside the residence following the crash.

Officers arrived eight minutes later and called out to the residents, but there was no response. They could see a small fire and smoke inside the home, prompting them to enter to check on the welfare of those inside, police said.

Monica Coates was found dead inside the master bathroom with “severe injuries” consistent with having been burned. Stephen Coates was inside the bathroom suffering from burn injuries.

Officers detained him, providing aid at the scene, before he was taken to a hospital for further treatment.

The San Diego Fire-Rescue Department extinguished the small fire and shut off the utilities in the residence, authorities said.

Homicide detectives determined, Lt. Chris Tivanian said, that Stephen Coates was the driver of the vehicle that crashed into the residence and that he was responsible for starting the fire in the home.

“The victim was the only occupant inside the home at the time of the collision,” he said, adding that she had a temporary restraining order against Stephen Coates.

Police said that in Monica Coates’ request for the order, filed in San Diego Superior Court last month, she wrote that in the weeks leading up to November, her husband had come to believe she was “conspiring with others to kill him and his paranoia has made him erratic and makes me fear for my safety.”

She wrote that those beliefs led him to demand to search her phone, iPad and email accounts for apparent evidence of the conspiracy. He also asked a friend if he should arm himself for protection, she wrote.

Monica Coates left her home out of fear, but recently returned following a call from one of their neighbors, police said.

Upon returning to the home with police Psychiatric Emergency Response Team officers, she wrote that they discovered her husband had “booby trapped the interior of the home with fishing line, and had bolted the front door mail slot with a metal plate.”

The officers removed Stephen Coates from the home involuntarily and a psychiatric hold was put in place. While the man was hospitalized, he made several calls to friends stating that he believed his wife was a threat, she wrote while seeking the restraining order.

She added that her husband was released from the hospital earlier than expected, leading her to seek the court’s help.

Court records also show that a restraining order request was filed by Monica Coates against her husband in 2009. Details on what led to that request were not available in Superior Court records, but the case was dismissed less than a month later.

Anyone with information about the case was urged to call the SDPD’s Homicide Unit at 619-531-2293 or Crime Stoppers at 888-580-8477.

City News Service contributed to this report.

Updated 2:20 p.m. Dec. 30, 2025