The Shards’ Penultimate Episode Throws Stuff at the Wall and Nothing Sticks — Review

Critic’s Rating: 2 / 5.0

2

Now would be a good time for me to admit that I’m not a fan of slashers.

I find them to be the bottom of the barrel of horror because most don’t have anything solid to grasp onto.

It’s just loud noises and blood.

So I haven’t been missing this show’s lack of kills, but even for a subgenre I dislike, there should be tension — and The Shards simply doesn’t have it.

It keeps forgetting that it is a slasher that must, at the very least, kill one or several of its hot cast members.

So instead, we are stuck with ridiculous confrontations about The Trawler when the show remembers it has a serial killer as part of the narrative.

The Shards Season 1 Episode 8 “Hamlet” feels like a detour from a destination that we are not sure of yet.

After building tension with the homecoming two-parter, this hour just deflates those stakes with the lowest forms of storytelling: the information dump.

We learn through dialogue that Susan was in custody for less than an hour, and Debbie informs everyone that Rhonda is gone.

Something I detest more than slashers is a poorly executed show. No one in real life sits down to offer updates like that.

For something as serious as kidnapping and murder, Susan’s arrest would have been the talk of the town. If the studio didn’t want to pay a guest star to complete her arc, I can imagine better ways to communicate this development.

In a way, that’s why The Shards feels small.

It focuses on these handful of characters who lack sophistication and simply can’t carry a mystery.

The only time The Shards introduces a recurring character is not to build out the world, but to set up a quick kill when it remembers it is, indeed, a horror show.

“Hamlet” feels like an escalation of all the storylines the show has touched on over the past six underwhelming episodes.

Through the classic tale of Romeo and Juliet, cracks in Thom and Susan’s relationship widen as they realize they have different ideas of what the future is supposed to look like.

Kaia Gerber and Graham Campbell bring their A-game, even though I don’t care about their relationship or that Thom — like everyone else in this show — has murderous tendencies.

I will always be pleasantly surprised when a nepo baby and a pretty boy actually have talent.

Moving on, Steven is blackmailing Liz, but I don’t get why.

Liz and Steven, like other supporting characters, are just there. They serve no purpose to the story, at least not one connected to the general arc.

So Steven blackmailing her doesn’t have an effect. Even the threat itself is not scary because, like everything, it relies too much on telling and not showing.

From all the reviews I’ve read online, the source material is filthy, but this show is not.

It would have been a better experience to know what Liz did to baby Ryan because then we’d be in on the story.

Take Bret’s hookup with Terry. It all goes down in that dreaded narration while Bret watches a tape on loop.

It would have been an uncomfortable scene to watch because what Bret described was textbook sexual assault.

I don’t know if it is because television has started taking moral positions about issues and decides not to show what may be deemed controversial, or because the actors simply weren’t up to it.

Okay, then Bret and Robert’s hookup was not that controversial, was it?

I have been waiting for them to finally go to pound town, and predictably, the show cuts to morning before they get down and dirty.

This is part of this show’s desire to escalate without payoff. More Heated Rivalry, less NCIS. But it is way too late now.

Bret seemed to derive a lot of pleasure from finally bedding Robert, but it would have hit harder if that twunk had been pinned to the bed for us to see.

With the serial killer mystery, the show stresses that Bret is not to be trusted as he becomes a suspect in Mat Kellner’s death.

Like the writing, there seems to be no urgency with this arc. In what world do police officers just drop by a school while conducting a murder investigation?

I get that these kids are supposed to be rich and all, but murder trumps money — at least I think it should.

Another unsettling thing is that the show shot itself in the foot by naming the character after the author because it breaks the illusion. If it is autobiographical, there is no way Bret could be the killer because the real Bret is not in jail.

I don’t get why they had to go in this direction, because if the real world already spoils the arc, it’s been a waste of time since the pilot episode.

Gut Check

“Hamlet” is a bit more dramatic than other episodes as the season nears the end. It touches on all the arcs, but since they didn’t develop well, they ring hollow.

Nothing feels particularly intriguing — not Thom’s unhingedness, Steven’s blackmail, or Robert’s aunt’s visit.

On the bright side, we’re almost free.

Intrusive Thoughts

• Robert could have murdered Bret after the deed, and Bret would have died happy.

• Sometimes I can’t tell if Bret is just weird or there is an ammonia leak in the room.

Over to you, The Shards Fanatics.

Will you be sad to see this show go? What do you think will happen in the finale? I foresee a lot of running around, and probably one major death.

Let’s keep the conversation going — it’s the only way the good stuff survives.

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